erm.... refreshed

it is a long long time that i didnt refresh my blog. fortunately some of my frenz still remember n remind me to refresh it, otherwise i will forget it 4ever.

erm.... still have many things need to do, n happened many things i didnt wish to in this few weeks, n thanks that all of that had past, otherwise i will get hypochondria (wow)...

so, the final year exam had gone, waiting the results on this coming Friday n still deliberating whether want to go to school to get the result, coz i really really want to tear my result into many many pieces n burn them into ashes!!! haiz.... sad plus frustrating.... hope i can cry to replace my bad mood... dunno what is the problem i m facing now, is that my study methods? or i m not concentrates when studying? or i m easily distracted by other things? or not enough time to study? or have too many things need to study? or my timetable is giving me a wrong guide? or... ....? haiz.... i believe that i got not enough time to study is the best reason for my question, but, to be honest, is that i really can cover up all the topics if the time given is enough for me as it is for the other student to study? unfortunately, i think it is not. so i still cannot solve my problem till now....

n, after reading the blog written by the other frenz, i have to admit that i really had a long long time havent seen u all already n, of course, miss u guys!!!! hope can have a chit chat wif u all.

waiting for the chance to watch NEWMOON!!! omg, i still havent watch it. just imagine... jin fang already read the half book of BREAKING DAWN, me havent started yet, coz if i start to read it, mesti got no time to do my homeworks, everyday read read read, everyday BREAKING DAWN BREAKING DAWN BREAKING DAWN, n then my sis will say: wah! no need to do homeworks ar? n my STPM on next year NOV 19 surely will get die.

now i realise y ssi can get cluster school n their students are all damnly good. their secret: when the school holiday at end of the year is coming, their teachers are preparing TIMETABLES for the whole shool holidays n print out all the topics that the students are going to do during their holidays!!! dang..... n it is a MUST!!! n, of course, we get the homeworks n timetable. i had asked one of frenz which is a former ssi, he said: every year got ah, y so surprise? ur school didnt do like this meh? n all of us, including those from TUN, TTA, SKUDAI, said OF COURSE NO LAH!!! wah... really.... that's really something wor...

erm... i have so many wishes that i hope can become reality in my day.... hope that i have time to watch NEWMOON with my sis, n can solve all of my problem, find back my instinct to study, n all the bad weather, bad economics, bad influenza, bad.... can all get pass us n turned into good!!!! no longer like going to face the 2012 DISASTER!!!! arghhh.... hope can stay wif my lovely family n paopao n xiao bao n xiao bai gong n xiao bai mu n xiao hei my frenz 4ever, everyday gets BETTER n BETTER!!!! hush...hush....

mine.... (mEss+mAss)

finally, i have time to update my blog+break.

that day's physic test,i really lost my standard. the quest that i really+normally used to it had almost made me "losting" myself, because suddenly i dunno how to answer the quest, n i need to recalled back what i had read be4.haiz...really... it's really killing me... but at last, at the very last minute, i can finally knew how to answer that quest. n the final quest hor... haiz... no time let me to think how to answer it. so just wrote half of the solution. wish that i can get half of the marks. maybe this kind of panic was caused by i havent faced any exams since the very last exam -- SPM. the tension+pressure+stress didnt come for me for a long long time already -- during the test.... (stress+pressure face me everyday, this is another kind of stress+pressure. maybe its too complex n complicated.) but fortunately, this is only TEST, not the REAL test.

n now maybe my school will start the class-over-late system, that is until 3 or 4 pm. really really tired n exhausted although that system havent start yet, but after hear what the teacher said i can already felt that "exhaust". all my homework already began to mix up, plus with that system, my timetable will going to mess up. hughhh!!!!

but at least, all my frenz are really really good. especially "u all". haha. but some others hor.... well.... "u all" know who i m talking about (those who same secondary school wif me, u all know). haha.

another is, i m taking a post in librarian!!!! uh-ho. it is an esco automasi -- dun ask me what is it, bec i only know the job is related to computer -- n i need to learn it from my senior. although i need to stay back until 4.30pm for 1 day of a week n my parents oso need to be busy for me bec they come n fetch me back, but it really fun -- can borrow books from library by myself n return it back oso by myself, n do homeworks wif frenz, use the computers, n many many more -- n the seniors oso good enough for me to make frenz with them.

n the last thing i want to say is: P, i already updated my blog lar~~~ n teach me physics n maths ar.... if u want volunteer to teach me chemist, u oso can. haha. n finally i wish all of my frenz good luck in their exams (bec some of them are going to face their STPM this year or other exams in their colleges or matric or foundation) n bless me can done all the homeworks, the whole subjects, the entire revision n the massive excercise!!!!! (pening already...) pao pao n xiao bao, u two have to live healthy n wealthy n fatty n give me+my sis many babies. haha.

peace peace peace ^^

my BIRTHDAY!!!!

1st of all, i like to thx to my family!!!! uh-ho!!! i love my presents so much.thx!!!! i love the watch, the bracelet, the purse n every thing u all had given me.muackzzzZZZZ.....

secondly, i like to thanks my frenz who still remember me!!! haha.... u all r too great. although my birthday in this year didnt celebrate wif my frenz, but still, it's a momentous moment for me. n of course, one simple "happy birthday to you" can oledi touched my heart n it made me felt very warm. thx to those frenz who still remember me!!!
n i have to thx to one of my frenz.he still remember my birthday though i just say one time when my birthday is, because of he has to go to college on 1st of july, then he gave the present to me when my classes was over n it made me shocked!!!! he just walked out from somewhere n said'mei yun, happy birthday.'after he gave me the present,then he walked away.haha... really cool~~(of course he got things to do so he came to school) really, thx to u, nielson. good luck n all the best for u...
n u oso, pineapple, thx for ur happy birthday song u sang in ur heart for me.haha.... really "sweet".
n kuan wei, thx for ur "star" u had done using ur "ling" at this morning, i will remember it because this is the 1st time that i had received this such special give n it is from YOU!!!! though u just knew about my birthday at this morning, but, still, touchy.... n u r so cool when u play it!!!! hahaha....

thx to u all ^^

so many things...

well, its already a very long time i didnt blogging. so, many things had happened in these days. there got sadness,happiness,struggle-ness,stress-ness,n chagrinness.

first of all, i want to introduce my NEW lovely-baby-boy----XIAO BAO!!!! his age only a few weeks, maybe only 1 month or two. he is the HUSBAND--or BF--of PAOPAO. because of PAOPAO already reached the age of being a mother, we--mummy,daddy,bro n both of my sis--had decided to "take care" of another baby-boy-"hedgehog".

he is not as pretty as PAOPAO, actually, but smart enough. he's very naughty. he always try to escape from his "home" and always bite the bottle we fill the water for him. when he met his pretty PAOPAO, then...(hahaha, can imagine what will happen next.) of course, he just laid beside PAOPAO n slept there. n the contrast of his body size wif PAOPAO's, that really..... something..... too small--since he just one month only.

he has a same habit as PAOPAO, that is---play wif the tissue roll sampai tak boleh keluar!!!! but PAOPAO will use her hands to push the tissue roll out of her head----this already a long time ago, since that PAOPAO is too big of size to squeeze her head into the tissue-roll-hole.SHE'S FAT!!!!!

recall the 1st day we got XIAO BAO home is when we at my relative's funeral. well, that's really sad n too sudden.... still cant imagine.... maybe this is what we aways say: the fate. still cant accept what had happened.....

n me also start my new school life lately. for such a coincidence, i met wif my old-old primary school(CC) frenz!!! well, they still look as same as they are in their primary school---still look brilliant n....smart. n their frenz---especially boys----are so tall~~~~ now i know y they look so tall: bec i m so short compare wif them. haiz, i still cant "grow up". when we stand up or i passed by them, i merely reach their shoulders or somewhere about there. so tall, so ENVIOUS.... n of course, the guys who also came from tmu n same school wif me now also tall. haha. i had a few new frenz from different schools, but not different genders---not yet,haha. i also "know" about a few new frenz came from the same school wif me that they r so good enough n, most important, their chivalrous. they r so good enough n humor n "kia-su"!!! i will not know about them if i didnt place at the same school, ride on the same car, n study in the same class wif them. maybe i had neglected too many things in the past.

still, i cant manage my time very well n make me pening kepala after spending too much time on 1 subject. sometimes it makes me study till i want to vomit. haiz.... n feel no good at all. plus wif me cannot fall asleep at night, the next day is all the bLurRrrr.....

yesterday i got a mes from my fren n it made me felt dunno-what-to-do. not that made me felt angry, but....er... heart-attack.haha.its like a hint, n too sudden, n maybe "P" was right. n me DECODE already!!!!"thx for telling what is those num means."haha....

he is my NEW lovely-baby-boy--XIAO BAO

XIAO BAO n PAOPAO!!!

PAOPAO too fat already n cant fit into the tissue role. wakekeke.... ^O^

n look at their size.... contrast....

sleep tight... my babe....

mine... nauseated ewwWWWW

i dont know what was happening to me. i dont know is it really i ate something wrong n caused my stomach nauseated. i dont know is it i didnt washed my hands clean after playing wif paopao before i ate. whatever the causing was, these really made me SICK!!!!

since the last thursday night, my stomach began to chew itself uncomfortable -- it enjoyed itself -- like there was something inside there intend to shred my stomach into rags. but these was no pain at all, just uncomfortable... n a little nauseate. i though i was hungry bec the time had passed the normal hour for me to take my dinner.

after the dinner, my stomach began to tear itself using all of its strength. this was the worse stomach-nauseated i ever had. and i let the stomach to chew on n on n on n hoping that it would stop chewing by itself. i wondered if it would ever end.

then, the worse had began. after my stomach had its nauseated for about half n hour, i threw up whatever i had ate during the dinner. this was just the 1st time.

the 2nd time was at the midnight while i cant fall asleep -- not really bec of the books;this was a first -- bec of my stomach-chew. with a too sudden force from my stomach, i threw up again n the worse thing was that i didnt had enough time to run down the stairs n open the door for me to finished in the toilet. so i just end up on my own bed. for such a relieve was, first, i didnt stained my vomit-things on my both sis' beds. the second was my bed had 2 mattress doubled together which means that i didnt had to sleep on the wooden bedstread.

i layed there on sofa limply while my mum helped me to clean up the smear. this made me felt more worse n sorry for my mum from what i had done for her. n my dad, too, he was too worried about me n hasten my mum to take me to a nearby clinic.

after the 2nd time, it havent ended yet, was 3rd time n 4th time. having the medicine from dr.XX, i m getting pretty well now. the doctor said that i m having gastric pain who didnt even experienced once of that, so i didnt felt any pain from it, just vomiting n nauseating.

now, i just need to pray no more vomits n nauseates bec i really have many things need to prepare before i start my new student life next week -- well, just form 6 only -- in a new environment. thx for those friends who had gave thier concerns for me.

n

mommy daddy, too.

my...can't-sleep-nights

i m having bad weeks -- bad nights, actually.

what's the bad is, i can't fall asleep as easily as before though i m really in a very good mood -- after those you-know-what-thing i actually having a very good mood. maybe i m too overexcited after reading those vampire-love-saga now i m too over-obsessing with. maybe my brain not willing enough to pause itself just for a few moment or hours from recalling the scene i'd made while i read the stories n insisting me to continue reading though my eyes have already popped out from their sokets. maybe i'd already turned insane -- result from me totally obsessed with whatever the story had told.

i need to squeeze my eyes so shut till the edge of my eye lids sting with pain, then i have to relaxe myself n open them n staring at the white ceiling of my room wif wide eyes. AGAIN.

the most humorous thing is hearing my sis snort!!! and that is so ironic -- what if u can't fall asleep at night but u have to watch the others enjoying their whatever dreams they have?

the story i'd read will continue appearing behind my lids like a real movie -- maybe i already got paranoid, too. with such an embarrassment, what i need to say is i m totally enjoying myself -- not the can't-sleep-nights, but the 'movie' -- though my brain have already worn-out.

every night my will of stop-myself -to-read have to struggle itself to fight off the other will of insist-to-read, but my will-of-stop will always lose n beaten by my will-of-read, never win. and so, another night of sleepless night....

my over-obsessed of the story had began made my sis suspicious over me whether or not i really truely understant what the story had told -- maybe they still didn't buying my reasons for over-enjoying reading those saga. that's really annoying!!!

now i had proceed to ECLIPSE -- the third book which is the final second of the series -- oso growing my passionate much more than before for CULLENS.

thx so much for my mummy n daddy who always support n buying me those books i love.

lurbeu ol ^^

mine... DISGRACED

these days i had made myself a vow:never grievance myself to do anything again.

i felt very happy n relieve these days -- actually since when i became "alone" -- wif no more burden in myself, not because of already knew my result, but because of i already get rid of myself out of something.....

besides that, i really have good mood these days -- of course, after i became "alone" -- n no more bad tempers -- bad mood, actually -- though i was as nearly as being bitten by PAOPAO -- she always tried to sit up when i cradle her on my left palm -- n i used her little sleep prop,tissueroll to beat her buttocks.haha ^^ this is the most irritating incident i can concluded since i was "alone".but bitten by PAOPAO was not as bad n hurts as u think.i almost ENJOYED myself !!!!!

by thinking about the "unpleasant" things, i was so disgusting of myself.after thinking about it, i realize that that was not worthing enough -- not exactly the worth -- for me to rack my brain to think again n again n again what was really going on because there was no even one tiny thing that can worth me to think about.no memories about that.

what was i thinking at that time???? this is the question that i always ask myself. maybe i got my eye blind at that time(many of my audience said like that). is that i really insane??? is that i really lost myself principle, my own self-respect??? why i had done it???? stupid, stupid, STUPID!!!!!!

i m so glad n relieve that these was over. i had already get rid of myself out of it -- not the sad, but all the "unpleasant" things i had decided since that time i was so unmature.

i had concluded that i was really insane at that time, what was i thinking??? i dunno.... i hadn't do anything that can make me feel so disgrace like this.


i didn't felt any sadness about the "end", but i felt relieve n comfort n not a single tiny things of sadness or regret for the end. on the contrary, i feel so happy about how fast it was end instead of waiting for a long time.

get myself out, i realized that i had losing myself so far away n so long n already it made me very irritating.about becoming myself again -- no more tied n bind up -- was so glad. i'd got myself back, my whole will, my whole strength, even my whole sane. i know what i have to do for the coming time, what i m supposed to race n complete n even compete -- i want to do what my both sis had done.if u ask me whether i will do it again, then i will use up all of my will n say i will NOT. i had done all the wrong things.... very worse very worse.... even i feel disgrace of myself now.

maybe many of u dunno what i was trying to tell (if got any of u read my blog), i rather u can guess urself, because i feel so embarrassed n ashamed by saying it aloud.

i m not trying to insult anyone of u, if it does then i sincerely apology.